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G.I. JOE: RETALIATION - VLOG 16/04/13

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GAUNTLET II - GAME REVIEW

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HEROES: SEASON 2 - REVIEW

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After the way Season 1 left things (messy), you could forgive this follow-up season to struggle for a bit before fixing things and getting started. Unfortunately, Season 2's brand new ideas fail to rise above what the whole season is essentially about: filling up those plotholes. Ironically, in the process, new plotholes are introduced and the new stuff mostly fails to gel convincingly with the old stuff to the point where a lot of episodes bring something up that's quite interesting only to cover it all up by the end of it. Take the whole Harvey Two-Face Nathan Petrelli thing, or the potential death of Noah Bennet as foreseen in one of Isaac Mendez's lost paintings, or even Mohinder possibly turning to the dark side: all subplots with potential but none of them really know where they're going and none of them really delivers. Like Season 1, this is very much a season of two halves. Except here it's much shorter. For one half we're mostly concerned with

FRIGHT NIGHT PART 2 - REVIEW

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Fright Night was certainly a rarity: a vampire comedy that actually works both as a vamp flick and as a horror movie satire. The film had an irresistible charm with its cool 80's score, its turtle neck-wearing villain and its genius Peter Cushing/Hammer homage. This sequel takes the same formula and introduces new dastardly vampires to add to the mix. It's years later, Charlie (William Ragsdale again) has undergone a lot of therapy and has accepted that everything that happened in the first film had been the result of group hypnosis and never actually happened. Peter Vincent (the ever-reliable Roddy McDowall), however, still remembers the truth of the events that unfolded but being the only one who believes that reality, it's hurting his work to say the least. Basically, the first half of the film is nothing but build-up to resuming the status quo of the first movie: Charlie being a douche to his girlfriend, Peter Vincent losing his job, vampires orgy-biting victims

DIE HARD 2 - REVIEW

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With Die Hard maestro John McTiernan not onboard for this sequel, it could have all gone wrong and our beloved McClane could have been left carrying a mediocre retread over his shoulders leaving the franchise to slowly go downhill after that. Thankfully, what we got was a retread, for sure, but a decent one with enough action and enough lols to carry us through to the next, superior, round. Arguably the least memorable of all Die Hard flicks, this sequel is commonly known as "the airport one" and, indeed, there's not much more to it. Once again it's Christmas and once again John McClane is stuck in one place trying to stop terrorists from pulling off some elaborate plan which just happens to involve his wife, kind of. This would all be much too familiar and dull if it weren't for the likes of Bruce Willis himself, who still does a top job as the iconic put-upon cop, a brilliantly creepy bunch of villains (including a chilling William Sadler) and some kicka

X-MEN 2 - REVIEW

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Back in the day, I was crazy-excited about every X-Men movie release. A fan of the comics, I enjoyed the first film and was certainly looking forward to seeing more of my favourite characters in a sequel. Of course, all this positive anticipation for the franchise ended after (or actually, during) X-Men 3 but that's another story. I had forgotten how much better than the first film this second instalment was. It's ridiculously better. Not amazing or anything but certainly a vast improvement. For one thing, the scale was much more suited to an X-Men film. Also, you had a much better villain with a much better masterplan in Brian Cox's William Stryker with Magneto (Ian McKellen) and Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) given more interesting things to do this time around besides just being one-dimensional douchebags. It's a bit less of a cliched doomsday machine plot in that although Cerebro is a big part of Stryker's plan, it's not really all we get plot-wise from

BIRDEMIC 2 : THE RESURRECTION - TRAILER

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Let the bird mayhem begin... again. And this time: they're slightly bigger. Basically more of the same, which should make fans of the original very happy indeed. Apart from the obvious, expected mix of groan-inducing acting, gratuitous ladies-in-their underwear shots, awful sound, shit effects and so on, it seems Birdemic 2 has more of a sense of humour. Take this moment for example: The guys are shooting at some evil vultures (yes that IS meant to be a gunshot on the top right)... When THIS happens: That's just genius. I also like the bird (in the foreground) crashing into the Hollywood sign which is, in fact, waaaay into the background. Did not see that coming. The trailer ends with a weird scene where the girls hit someone with a tripod and their head explodes: Come on! That's not even close to making contact! Yeah I don't know what that scene's about but... I look forward to finding out! A worthy

THE EXPENDABLES 2 - REVIEW

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Putting such a crazy-epic cast together should really be enough to make a good movie. And yet the past has shown that no matter how many famous faces you cram into a flick, it's just not sufficient. Remember the original Casino Royale ? Yeah, that had Peter Sellers, Woody Allen and Orson Welles: terrible. Mars Attacks! had a crazy-big cast but that was a good, fun movie. The Expendables , however, was not. The first movie really was a missed opportunity to say the least. You had a cast that included Stallone, Statham, Rourke, Lundgren, Jet friggin' Li and yet what we got was an instantly forgettable mess. Now with The Expendables 2 we've got more Arnie, more Bruce Willis, a good bunch of newcomers (Van Damme, Norris), how could that movie be anything BUT awesomeness itself? Well, frankly I have no idea but this sequel certainly isn't "awesomeness itself". That said, I gotta admit it is better than the first film in that it at least gives us a dece

X-MEN 2: THE NOT GOOD EDITION

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Just noticed this. My copy of X-Men 2 is just ridiculously proud of something it really shouldn't be THAT happy about: ONE disc?! No... Could it be true? I didn't know it came in ONE disc form! This is radical! Seriously though, you're proud of selling a single DVD with no bonus extras and stuff? That's like saying: "The X-Men 2 DVD, now with a film inside!" Jeez... (review of the movie itself coming soon, NOT the one-word edition)

TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN PART 2 - TRAILER

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lol

TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN PT. 2 - TRAILERS

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Ok, two new trailers for Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 and it's looking good. By that, of course, I mean lolgasmic. "She was born, not bitten. She grows every single day!" Gotta love that line. Then there's this one. "We have the same temperature now." Edward has a way with words. Also check out the last bit of that trailer, where Bella stalks a deer : GENIUS. Love that shit.

ANCHORMAN 2 - TEASERS

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CREAM away San Diego, cream away... ...and now it's THIS teaser's time to play.

ANCHORMAN 2 - TEASER POSTER

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The Legend Continues...

HIGHLANDER II: THE OVERPRICING

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£15?!  Sure HMV.  YOU give me £15 and I'll consider buying the f***ing Quickening. Again...

MISSION:IMPOSSIBLE II - REVIEW

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A lot has been said about M:I 2 . Most of it... not good. And yet it's always the first film that springs to mind when I think back to Tom Cruise's blockbusting franchise. The long hair, the motorbike, the slow-motion: THAT'S the ego-trip I'm talkin' about! Brian De Palma's slow-burning, tense first film and J.J. Abram's high-octane second sequel both great but somehow not quite as memorable as John Woo's overblown, over the top, super silly effort. And boy is it silly. From the offset, it's clear that The Cruiser has taken the idea of the ego-trip to a whole new level. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Cruise couldn't climb a mountain by himself, without any safety equipment whatsoever and I'm not saying that this isn't a fun way to spend one's vacation but... Ok I'm saying that. But I like when he throws his sunglasses at us! In cornea-splittin' 2D! This Mission:Impossible outing really

STARSHIP TROOPERS 2 - REVIEW

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How do you follow a film like Starship Troopers ? I mean, Paul Verhoeven's sci-fi flick was something of a rare gem. The kind of genial, silly, wonderfully entertaining, crazy project that comes around once every blue moon and proudly shows that a sci-fi creature feature can and should be done right! After RoboCop and Total Recall , who knew that the director had one more ace up his sleeve? Especially after the likes of Basic Instinct and *shudder* Showgirls ! Yes, Starship Troopers was great. But I'm avoiding reality. I'm not here to review that movie. I'm here to review its sequel. A sequel so awful it was turned down by Casper Van Dien AND Denise Richards. :O At first I was like "Whaaaat? Surely it couldn't be as b..." but soon enough, my friends, soon enough I knew that a bug had crawled up my ass and would not leave my rectum for the next hour and 20 minutes. That bug was Starship Troopers 2 . Man, what a cheap follow-up. From the off

DON 2 - PREVIEW

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All set to watch new Shah Rukh Khan-starring Bollywood sequel Don 2 , I thought I should take a moment and show how great the new poster actually is. Quite a jump from the original one, don't you think? But wait... Is Don ripping out a mask of his own face? Or was he wearing someone else's skin the entire time? I mean, sure Don can be pretty unpredictable... But I never pegged him as a Leatherface-style psycho or... Tom... Cruise? Regardless of how silly the poster looks, I have complete faith in Don 2. It looks like fun.  But will it surpass Don?  That remains to be seen.

THE EXPENDABLES 2 - NEW POSTER

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lol Pretty great.

THE EXPENDABLES 2 - POSTER

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It's TESTOSTERRIFIC!!!

LOST SEASON 2 - REVIEW

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Those familiar with my less-than-glowing review of Lost's first season already know my stance on that snooze fest. Whoop-dee-freakin'-doo! We're looking down a hole! That was TOTALLY worth a million episodes! Grrrr... Anyway, onto Season 2 and, you know what? I have to hand it to the show: it learns from its mistakes. A heck of a lot of my criticisms are tended to in a superior second season which not only has an awesome subplot (which amazingly does deliver!) and things actually happening (almost) every episode but it introduces two of the show's best ever characters and disposes of some unwelcome cast members. It all begins in the "hatch" found at the end of the first season and although not nearly enough is done with the whole subplot that goes with it, it provides a new equilibrium for our colorful crew of troubled assholes with good hearts to struggle with. A lot of time is spent introducing the Anna-Lucia character, played by notorious tough-co