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THE CABLE GUY - VIDEO REVIEW

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IRON MAN 3 - NEW TRAILER

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It's cream-your-pants time! I simply cannot wait.

PANDORUM - REVIEW

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It's not easy being a claustrophobic sci-fi horror. For one thing you have to compete with every Alien movie out there, then you need to adapt to a certain formula while introducing new aspects to the genre yourself. You can go the arty route with something like Solaris , or go for pure cheesy B movie lols Event Horizon -style, or go for something in-between like Sunshine . Being produced by Paul W.S. Anderson, you'd think Pandorum would be closer to Event Horizon and yet it feels more like The Descent . Think that movie directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Pandorum does look great and almost feels like a low-budget Prometheus or a less boring version of Dante 01 . As you can see, I've already listed like 10 other movies. Derivative much? Yes Pandorum is pretty much almost exactly like any other horror sci-fi film you've ever seen. Which is a shame because it does have its own good ideas and unique style. Rubbishy Descent-style monsters-aside, I like how gross

THE WATCH - REVIEW

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That Ben Stiller's latest received predominantly negative reviews both surprises me and makes perfect sense. This sci-fi version of cult comedy classic The 'Burbs tries to have its cake and eat it too. Attempting something unique while still appealing to fans of the likes of The Wedding Crashers and Tropic Thunder was always going to be a bit of a stretch. Perhaps opting for a more Spielbergian approach altogether could have been the way to go? I'm thinking Super 8 with plastic alien boobies. I should not think, like, ever again... Instead, we get a farcical genre-mesh which fails to gel entirely but which presents an all-too familiar style of comedy with fresh material. I, for one, enjoyed The Watch : you've got a solid team of goofy dudes doing what they do best... but with aliens. What's not to like? Granted, no-one is exactly playing against-type here. Hell, new recruit Richard Ayoade looks like he was lifted straight out of The IT Crowd playi

CABLOGULA: ORIGINS

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If you've never been to my Youtube channel, this won't make much sense lol

THE DICTATOR - REVIEW

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Sacha Baron Cohen in a Larry Charles film about how Americans are assholes playing a stereotype douche with funny hair and a dodgy accent? I've gotta see this! ...again. Yes it's that time again where the man dons a silly costume and sets out to effortlessly offend the entire planet. And you know what? The formula still (mostly) works! I'm doubtful that the team will ever reach the highs of Borat again, Bruno was already a step down, but this middle ground isn't too unpleasant so roll on with The Dictator . This time, Cohen is dictator Aladeen, leader of made-up North African country Wadiya: he's got an impossible accent, a LOT of pubic hair, Megan Fox as only one of his many celebrity prostitutes, an anti-Jew Wii game, the list goes on. Nothing terribly new so far but it's a character we haven't seen before and he is more than appropriately goofy to stand proudly alongside Cohen's other creations. The film sees Aladeen showing up in New Y

LOST SEASON 3 - REVIEW

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Now this is what I'm talking about! After a frankly dull first season and an uneven (if promising) second here we finally have a focused, genuinely well-made, wholly entertaining season which benefits from being a little darker and a little less all about that boring old beach we've grown so accustomed to! It's an island. There's sand. We get it. Again, a lot of the wrongs of season 1 are put right and now the show finally finds itself with not only a great villain, dodgy "Other" leader Benjamin Linus, but interesting main characters you actually do care about (...and Kate). Everyone's backstories are fleshed out a bit more and interlinked with each other in clever ways, characters face real conflicts and have an immediate purpose. This time, these guys are shown no mercy. Long gone are the days when Charlie would worry about peanut butter, long gone are the boring "lets-all-sit-around!" episodes: no, this is the season where the smo

THE BEN LINUS GLITCH 2

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THE BEN LINUS GLITCH

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PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME - REVIEW

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There is nothing wrong with Jake Gyllenhaal: Donnie Darko , The Good Girl , Moonlight Mile , even Bubble Boy , it's all good. But give him long hair, pump up his muscles and give him a GODAWFUL english/cockney/irish/other accent and what you're left with isn't so much Jake but Jak Gyllenhaal, Jake's idiotic older brother. And unfortunately that's who they got to play Prince of Persia. Video game to film adaptations aren't exactly famous for their success and this probably won't change much although it is arguably one of the best in that sub genre. Infinitely more watchable than the Resident Evil films or whatever crap oozed out of Uwe Boll over the past 5 years or so. Prince of Persia is a great game, the later ones especially not the NES or Master System ones which had controls about as fluent as that giant wheel Conan pushes in the 80s Arnie film. The film tries to make the most of its swashbuckling action, silly but fun story and exoti

BLOODRAYNE - REVIEW

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  Uwe Boll directs (that's a big word) this mess of a video game adaptation and offers us little more than about a million jittery flashbacks, some of the worst acting ever filmed and basically one of the most boring films I've seen in a very long time. Three things save this turkey from the dreaded 1 star rating: gore, boobs and Ben Kingsley. As catastrophically rubbish as Kristanna Loken's acting may be...she is compelling to say the least (though not so much in the big clown rubbery pants she gets near the end lol). The gore is gratuitous but fun and Ben Kingsley can do "creepy bald man" in his sleep.  The biggest disappointment here may very well be Michael Madsen who is a complete non-event. It's almost as if he refused to act and instead stood in front of the camera with his ridiculous Highlander haircut waiting for the "ker-ching" sound of his pay being counted. Overall, this is dire and it was so dire I actually found myself missing House